Being A Good Listener Is An Acquired Gift

Do you know people who just love to hear themselves talk? Have you ever been around someone who asks how you are doing, but before you can answer, they move on to another topic? Being a good listener is an acquired gift. It takes practice, discipline, and true compassion for others to perfect the art of listening. After all, we have two ears and only one mouth for a reason.

I have learned that when people stop by my office to discuss issues of concern, or to tell me of accomplishments they have achieved, it is important to give them my undivided attention. I turn away from my computer, turn the papers on my desk upside down, and close the door to keep from being distracted. By taking these steps, I am sending a message to the other person: a message of sincere concern for their need to talk, and respect for their time. I don't always get it right, but I try to be a good listener. How about you?

The next time someone is talking to you, please remember:

• It is impossible to listen and talk at the same time

• Make direct eye contact with the person.

• Listen for the main ideas.

• Let them finish - don't interrupt.

• Ask questions.

• Do not finish their sentences or add words.

• Focus on the other person, not on you.

• Fight off distractions.

• They don't want you to solve their problem - they just want you to listen.

When my daughter was six years old, she tried desperately to get my attention one morning before school. I was preparing lunches, cooking breakfast, rushing around in an effort to get the kids and myself ready for the activities of the day.

In the midst of rushing around, I heard my daughter saying, "Mom." I just kept working to juggle all the responsibilities of the morning. Can you relate? She continued to call my name, "Mom, Mom, Mom!" Finally, I stopped what I was doing and turned to her and said, in a disgusted tone, "What is it, Hether?" She replied, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!" My daughter taught me a good lesson that morning, when I finally stopped long enough to listen!

We are all busy, but we should never be so busy that we don't take time to listen. We can do our part to make this world a better place simply by making others feel listened to, connected to, and acknowledged.

Thought for the day - You don't learn anything with your mouth open. Practice listening more and talking less.

Have a Great Day!