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  • Sue Ann Cordell

Let's Get Real About Silently Fuming


Some of the worst pain and the deepest hurt anyone experiences sometimes comes from those who are near and dear to us. I’ve seen children suffer greatly at the hands of their parents. I know men and women who have difficulties in relationships of all kinds because of the trauma faced as a young child. Hurtful feelings that cut deep into the soul may tear friends and families apart. It doesn’t matter what degree of pain you are experiencing I will offer you the same advice for handling it. It’s time to forget about it!


Whatever caused you such pain is in the past and can’t harm you now unless you choose to allow it to paralyze you. Putting the past in the past will not be easy and won’t necessarily happen quickly but the freedom you will experience once you let go is indescribable! Only you can choose to forgive those who hurt you. You might not see a change in the other person but the change that will come over you will be full of peace, joy, and contentment.


Some of the best advice I received as a child came from my father. He said, “Sue Ann, you will only live on this earth one time, don’t be miserable doing it.”


People we live beside, work with, attend church with, and even live with can differ in values, vision, and outlook. While you may be trying to see the best in most situations, others may see the world through a window of cynicism and regret. The key is making sure your attitude is an example of what you value and believe in.


I recently read an article by Jancee Dunn entitled, 7 Things I've Quit for Sanity's Sake. In the article "Silently Fuming" was number 4 on his list. Here's what he had to say about this topic: Here's the dirty little secret about fuming when someone cuts in front of you in a bank line or lets a door slam in your face: self-righteous outrage feels good. There's a certain satisfaction in thinking, Wow, I would never be that rude. But silently stewing hurts one person: you. He continues: Not long ago, I was sitting at a cafe' when a man entered, pulled out his cellphone and began jabbering at the top of his lungs. I'm not the confrontational type, so I wasn't going to ask him to tone it down. Instead, I shot him dirty looks. I marinated in my anger. Did he notice? Of course not. Then he writes, "I reminded myself: I can move! Or leave! I don't have to stew! You can't control others' behavior, but you can control your own. There's usually something you can do, which provides a welcome feeling of control when others hijack your well-being. I totally agree with Jancee, and appreciate his transparency!


Remember….no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Holding on to hurts from the past whether big or small will steal your joy. The best gift you can give yourself and others is forgiveness.


Thought for the Day: If you find yourself having several bad days, stop giving people and circumstances permission to ruin your days. Forget the past and enjoy the present!



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